Written by Zoe Andrews (School Counsellor)
Our School Counsellor, Zoe Andrews, ran a series of four parenting skills workshops in October. The workshops covered some common challenges parents face and provided practical strategies and techniques to help parents and children navigate modern family life. Here are some helpful parenting tips:
Keep in mind your child’s brain development influences their emotions and behaviour!
- Brains are not developed when children are born
- Brains reach full development by around 22 years of age
- Children’s emotional brains are more developed than their logical-thinking brains
- The part of the brain responsible for logical thinking, empathy, reading social situations and understanding social cues is the last part to develop
- To help brain development, make sure your child has a well rounded experience:
- Academics
- Free play
- Active lifestyle
- Learning from mistakes
Pay attention to how you communicate with your children
- Children can find it challenging to say what they think and feel, so often they will communicate through their behaviours
- How we communicate and what we communicate affects how our children view themselves and the world around them. It also affects how they interact with the world. This often becomes their model of communication with others
- Children who understand their emotions have been found to do better at school, are less likely to become unwell and form stronger friendships
- Using a technique called “Emotion Coaching” can be a really effective way of helping children to understand and accept their different emotional states, and increase their ability to communicate effectively. Look at these links below for more information:
- http://www.parentingcounts.org/information/timeline/five-steps-of-emotion-coaching
- http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/post/emotion_coaching_one_of_the_most_important_parenting_practices_in_the_histo/
Try to identify where your child’s anger comes from, before judging him/her and getting angry yourself
- Anger is a normal human response to certain situations
- Anger can also be used to hide other emotions, such as sadness, frustration, shame, guilt and anxiety
- The best way to help your child when they are angry is to stay calm and model appropriate responses at home
- “Emotion Coaching” is another very effective way of helping your angry child.
Set clear rules with your child and stick to the rules!
- Appropriate discipline and boundaries are very important
- Children need firm, consistent boundaries for healthy development. It shows a parent loves them.
- They will always test boundaries
- Children also need appropriate discipline
- Studies have shown physical punishments do not work in the long term, punishment does not teach children appropriate lessons
- Physical punishment models aggressive and impulsive behaviours
- If you are struggling to find ways of appropriately disciplining your child, try “Logical Consequences” instead. You can find out more about them in the presentation and on this video clip:
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwuIvk0Hg9U
All of the workshops aimed to develop new ways of thinking about children’s development and gave parents the opportunity to learn new skills to use when communicating and supporting children through their development.
Parent feedback of the workshops:
“I attended all four parenting skills workshops and I found completely new ways of thinking about parenting that have been leading to big progress for me and my little one in communication and anger management. Very engaging, informative class with great instructor. Very honest and genuine experience sharing from the participants. I would highly recommend this workshop to all parents. And the workshops do not just end there! Actually it is a start for me. The sources quoted and the books recommended during the workshops can be great resources to help me further explore and practice parenting so as to support my little one from her childhood all the way to adulthood.” – Rachel Ma, mother of Shannon Shi in K2’s.
If you missed the workshops or if you want to find out more, you can find a summary of the workshop slides (password: RPCP).
Parent Resource Blog:
In addition, the School Counsellor and Learning Support team are developing a parent resource blog with lots of interesting information and articles for parents. This will be available from the start of Semester 2.